Showing posts from October, 2020

Days Are Not Bad

  This year October is very different. I was very busy, both in job and private. In October we have school holidays. So many co-workers take holidays to spend time with their kids. I have to work. I am ok with that. It is very interesting that my pain disappeared. I almost forget that I am a childless woman.  I am asking myself how and why.  I think it may be: - I went to run every morning. After jogging I feel very energized. - I had to replace my colleagues and got lots of work. - I had holidays for one week. I went hiking with friends. fresh air, trees and rivers, they make me to feel very relax. (PS: The picture above is from my hiking way. ;- For me it is a dragon.)   - I spent 30 mins every morning for myself, wrote journal and listened calm music. I like nature sounds, bird, water, wind…. - I listened Katharina Appia ’s podcast(it is German) I know Katharina from Elaine’s blog,  I lover her voice and interviews she did.  It is really like someone is talking with me, someone who

My Aunt called

My aunt called me today. We had a very nice video talk. I also got the picture of her grandchild. He is cute. After our call, she sent me a message. She does not want others to know (my cousins could hear us.). She would like to take me to a medical treatment. So I could get pregnant. That made me to remember a very funny thing many years ago. She bought me some „magical soups“ to loose weight ,when I was a little girl. I was really fat, about 70 kg. I told her about my 4 unsuccessful IVF. She is the first one in my family who knows my sad story. I do not know if my husband told some one. But she is the first one I told.  She wrote me she cried. She felt guilty that she was so concentrated on her family. She did not have time for me. She think I am very brave to do IVF alone. I think she mean no one in the family could support me. She is very proud of me. I never thought I need some one from the family. Why?  Because I do not want they worry about me. I always want they are proud of me

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